I have watched a frankly absurd amount of youtube survival videos. I am reasonably certain i could survive long enough to die of starvation since the foraging aspect of survival never really interested me enough
I have the ability to provide constant unyielding optimism as long as no one ever asks me how I’m doing
How are you doing?
Oh no
5h no answer… RIP 😞
What have I done… 😭
I can brew beer, bake bread, make wine, kill animals, preserve meat without a refrigerator, make sausages.
I can follow you around and make sure that your beer, bread, wine, meat and sausages are edible… To ensure you don’t get food poisoning ofc!
And that’s the story of how I became the village dog.
I’m a first-waver and I’m fine with that. The world is shit enough as it is, and I’m tired. Apocalypse? Not interested. Have at it.
Not interested
You’re missing the opportunity - don’t just feel ambivalent about the apocalypse, embrace it. Be that one zombie that waits rotting in a ceiling for five years just to chomp a seasoned survivor two days from
retirementevac.I don’t have anything to add, I just wanted to say that I love your username
I like it too, but these legends deserve the credit:
I’m well aware of Thelonious Monk, that’s why I commented. I hadn’t heard of Felonious Munk though. That’s also a cool name
I was an electrical engineering student a long time ago, pretty handy with most tools and electronics. I’m also least likely to kill or rape people. Well, maybe not the least likely, but very low on the list of suspects.
I could probably get working communications up and running for communities in like a couple of weeks plus travel. I probably won’t eat you.
I also have experience in demolition, reclamation, and construction. I can outrun the vast majority of people. How fast can you run?
This guys kinda sus “I probably won’t eat you” “I’m least likely to kill and rape you, but not really least”
Yeah movie 101 says to just kill you first and be done.
“I probably won’t rape, kill and eat you… By the way, how fast can you run?”
“Track in highschool huh?.. not a lot of meat…”
Faster than you can with a broken leg, sorry about that
Whacky sleep schedule, I can always cover for someone who might need to rest
Unfortunately, I’m a rifle and pistol skills trainer, handy enough with both power and non-power tools to barricade/build a functional shelter, a decent cook with barbones equipment, athletic enough to carry all that and still put in a days ruck, and multilingual enough that we won’t have to kill everyone we come across right away…
Fortunately, my body regularly tries to kill me and I’ll probably be in a coma before the month is out - so peace suckers.
I’m a rifle and pistol skills trainer
I’ll probably be in a coma
5-long quest chain to wake you up since you’re the rare trainer who can show me how to use the Buttfuckerator 5000 is what I’m getting from this
Like, this month? Or that first month of the Apocalypse?
Or yes I guess
I’m guessing the first month without insulin, so somewhere between the two.
Pretty good
Why are your skills unfortunate? The first word in your post is confusing to me.
It’s unfortunate because I am skilled in things that would matter, so I’d likely survive the initial horrors if I’m not within blast radius and have to kill my family when they reanimate.
Fortunately I won’t have to live with that long.
I think what they’re trying to say is that they wouldn’t want to survive in an apocalypse, so it’s unfortunate (ironic?) that they’re apparently so well suited to it.
Mine would be being a good watch; startled easily, don’t get bored, don’t get tired.
That’s solid. I’m pretty much the same.
Gardening, food preservation, baking, and backyard chickens. I’ll trade zucchini and eggs for everything and if I can’t I’ll give them away
Seriously an undervalued skill in a zombie apocalypse
Well, if you just join the hordes of the ambling dead right away you’re not really helping are you
Imagine you’re in LA and a small community of survivors has formed. All of them need to eat and drink. Each of them could fuck up (leave door open, get infected and hide it, etc.). You sit down to make a list of all the skills they have and after hearing “improv theater” for the tenth time you change your mind about OP.
I’m not sure if you said ambling when you meant shambling, but either way I just love the idea of a horde of zombies just moseying around, having a relaxing little stroll downtown to eat everyone, making the best of a sunny afternoon and devouring humanity.
Precisely. In almost every movie when the zombies aren’t currently chasing anyone they’re just chill, walking slowly and stress free whereever they please.
Did someone say zombie apocalypse?
Can zombies swim?
I guess it depends who you ask. World war Z suggests they just walk on the ocean floor aimlessly. Does that count?
Define the level of apocalypse…
Do you mean like evil acts of others? I wear personal self defense, fingers crossed I never need to use it.
Or like a flood or volcano eruption or something? Welp, guess I’m fucked too, I can’t swim in water or lava. ☹️💀
Swimming is a great life skill that everyone, even older people should learn. Considering 97% of the earth is water. It’s not if you will be in a large body of water, it is when.
The percentage is off (~70%), but I agree that swimming is something that everyone should learn.
The mixup / other percentage might have been here:
The ocean covers more than 70 percent of the surface of our planet. It’s hard to imagine, but about 97 percent of the Earth’s water can be found in our ocean. Of the tiny percentage that’s not in the ocean, about two percent is frozen up in glaciers and ice caps
It’s also an extremely good low stress way to get exercise as you age, in a way that, say, running is not.
Sorry, they didn’t offer lava swimming at my school. Private classes are all too expensive.
Water. Water. Not lava.
Like 40% of the Earth, by volume, has gotta be lava (or otherwise superheated metal): invest in the lava swimming course.
I actually did kinda force myself to learn to swim back in July 2014, just days after my father passed away. At that point, I felt if I couldn’t make it back up, I didn’t deserve to be alive.
Hell, I treated it as if it was a BMX flatland trick of sorts, just go at it fully determined to make it through. I picked probably the worst possible spot in a deep river with a heavy current, and swung off of a rope right into the deep drink.
It wasn’t my intent to die that day, it was my intent to prove to myself that I can survive even the unknown scary situations in the world.
I won’t claim to be the best swimmer out there, but I’m still here today…
In my honest opinion, this is a reckless way to learn to swim. You could have died. Plenty of civic centers that you can swim for free or damn near free. You don’t even need lessons.
I know. My ex girlfriend’s son had almost drowned only 20 or so minutes earlier, and someone else saved him. Though he wasn’t my kid, I felt really bad that I wasn’t the one to save him.
There were lots of people around, and I did give someone a heads up that I was about to take the rope swing, made them aware I didn’t actually know how to swim, and asked a stranger to hold my glasses for me.
It was at that moment I basically turned off my fear switch, as I would when trying a new BMX flatland trick. Already being a fairly athletic guy, the only real difference for me was the difference of the dynamics of the water.
I figured it out pretty quick though. Not in any hurry to do it again though, unless it becomes necessary for whatever reason.
Ummm… We don’t live on Waterworld. Only like 70-76% of the surface is covered in water.
Well, we are all getting there.
I don’t think anybody can swim in lava.
Not with that attitude.
I can. Not for long though.
most of the people listing their skills here are skills that require a functioning civilization in order to use.
I can sleep through anything.
Wake me up when they reestablish the society.
I’m really snarky. What everyone really craves in trying times is a relentless stream of inane criticism.
That guy will generally get voted off the island first… Which in event of apocalypse would mean certain death.
Brewing alcohol and maybe making drugs. Very essential stuff ;)
