They say that’s how the inventor of the machine gun had his eureka!
you’re supposed to chew 30 times, but who has time for that
It hurts when i shit corn but it won’t stop me from eating it. real good shit.
Because the undigested corn kernel husks are filled with poop.
But like why did they fill up all plump and not just be like a deflated balloon.
Farts blow open the empty kernels like a plastic bag in the wind, then the poop gets in them
Finally someone with a science based explanation
Likely because of the pressure that experienced when the feces mines through the colon.
Sorry buddy but swim underwater with a deflated balloon and you get a deflated balloon… Not a poopflated kernel.
TIL I’m corn because I’m full of shit
If that’s true, I’m an entire cob.
Well, you’re certainly not a logician
“Scoop some poop,… for science!”
Cornshells are tough AF and we’re shit at chewing.
At least find an uncensored version. Jesus. So dumb.
What were these books called?
This one appears to be called “I Guess I’ll Just Go Fuck Myself: Thanks for Nothing, Dickbag McShitstain.” Hope this helps!
little critter. i had a video game of one of the books i used to play the shit out of as a kid.
Just Grandma and Me where they go to the beach? I had that one and now my kid plays the shit out of it too.
“Just Go to Bed” by Mercer Mayer
Seems like an extreme reaction to a reasonable request
I have a flair for the dramatic
Magikarp used splash
“Jesus. So dumb.”
Most people dont chew more than 2-3 times so its kinda expected that stuff goes down unchewed
Disclaimer, I have dysphagia, so this isn’t meant to be the average person’s experience, but… I was eating when I read this and counted how many times I chewed when I took a bite until I felt comfortable swallowing and it was 47. You’re telling me normal people can chew as low as 2 times? Astounding.
Is this bad? Maybe I have it because I’m similar.
Fortunately, I think you’d probably notice if you did. Makes it hella hard to swallow stuff unless you pulverize it to a paste. In my case, some days I can’t even swallow things as simple as applesauce and have to just drink high calorie liquids.
Edit: After seeing the rest of your comments in this thread… Yeah, sounds like dysphagia. Dysphagia is a symptom though, not the condition itself. If you’ve got it, something deeper is wrong. In my case it’s likely nerve damage and allergies together.
I’m in the zero to ten camp for most foods, but right there with you at 47 for fatty meat of any kind. It feels disgusting in my mouth and to swallow it without gagging I need to basically cut it up with my incisors into smaller and smaller pieces until the texture disappears.
There’s a Calvin & Hobbes strip that would apply perfectly here, but I can’t find it. It features them discussing how many times it’s appropriate to chew food and the punch line is “maybe marshmallows are the exception.” Unfortunately, I couldn’t find that, so here’s the closest I could:
I mean it depends on what you eat ofcourse. Its just a linear change between soup(0) and crackers(idk maybe 10).
Like a mouthful Spaghetti doesnt need too much like maybe 4-5 times for me, but i have seen plenty of people who almost swallow pasta unchewed. Something like meat or carrots or whatever needs some more to get it to a small enough size to swallow and it just keeps going up with size, hardness and dryness.
i think i generally chew maybe… 6-10 times? but depending on the food i can either chew a lot more or a lot less, soft foods like well-boiled spaghetti just don’t really make sense to our brains and so we don’t chew properly.
I compulsively chew at least 11 times in a vain attempt to diminish my obesity. My lack of a sizable beer gut(versus most of my peers) shows promise, nevermind that I basically don’t drink, but I assure you, the corn does not care.
Is this true? I chew for a few minutes before swallowing normally, find it difficult to swallow otherwise.
A few minutes per bite?!?
Bros gonna starve in the middle of eating
I eat slow.
I don’t even know how you keep the food in your mouth chewing that long. After a minute most of it has managed to make it’s way to my throat without any effort by me to get it there.
Yeah, I never really actively swallow, it’s too painful, I just wait for the food to slide down.
You should ask about getting a swallowing study done to find out what’s going on because that isn’t normal. It might be an esophageal stricture or spasm that can be fixed.
It’s probably just that I have a small mouth and throat.
That sounds concerning… are you alright?
I think so.
Its said to be healthy and improve digestion to chew more and eat slowly so there isnt really any reason to stop.
afaik its more based on time than number of chews, food generally spends about 10-20 seconds in your mouth if you aren’t in a rush but it depends on the food and individual
The T-1000 variant
“Corn? When did I eats corn?”
This is the most alarming experience. Especially in the middle of winter when fewer things have corn readily included
I auto downvote anything with fucking censorship
It has like 2 pixels of white on the u, I had to scroll back up to know what you were talking about.
That’s more like it
You have great reaction memes, and I’m shamelessly harvesting them.
Talking about yourself?
https://sh.itjust.works/post/29385078
Edit: Also just so you know, your downvotes on 196 are just a shout into the void, considering blahaj has them disabled <3
your boos mean nothing! I’ve see what makes you cheer
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This censorship is so weak that I honestly think it’s parody at this point.
That’s the point.
You do understand this is done on purpose for reactions like yours?
If you really want to discover something crazy, swallow some raisins whole.
Do they come out as grapes
God I hope they re-hydrate and come out plump and poo water filled
Pop 'em right back in your mouth for a juicy treat!
I don’t particularly care for raisins but I might have to go get some to satisfy my curiosity.
I’m allergic to corn, so I don’t know if this is true, but if I pooped a food that was still whole I’d consider not eating it again.
The outside of the kernel is very fibrous, so when chewing it’s less about breaking down the outside and more like popping the insides out of its skin. We need all kinds of fiber in our diets, so the outside of the corn kernels passing through is just fine.
What happens if you eat corn? Can you eat tortilla chips?
Not who you asked, but I’m allergic to corn. Tortilla chips, cornbread, anything made with corn starch, cornmeal (including pizza because people use that on the bottom of pizza), some gluten free and some vegan foods have triggered allergic reactions for me.
It’s extra fun trying to find food I can eat that I haven’t made myself, because I’m also allergic to wheat and eggs.
You actually make me feel better about my recent celiac diagnosis. I’m sorry you’ve got to deal with all that though, that sounds terrible.
Are you allergic to wheat or are you also celiac?
Celiac is so difficult! I’m sorry you have to deal with that. You’ll get into a routine eventually, especially when it comes to checking food labels. You’ll still have to deal with trusting people when it comes to eating at restaurants or friends. I ordered food last week for the first time in ages and asked if their soup has corn. I forgot to add “or corn starch”, totally gave myself a terrible allergic reaction lol
As far as I can tell, gluten does not trigger my allergies. I don’t know which protein I’m allergic to, the allergist couldn’t tell me
The fig app is kinda helpful of you haven’t tried it.
You need my one neat trick.
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