• Croquette@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    13 days ago

    This statement doesn’t apply to me. Still, when I am constantly lumped in the same category as rapists, sexual predators and any or all other demeaning terms, it does start to affect my self-esteem and make me doubt myself.

    Just like when you look at social medias and all the women are perfect. You know it’s a tuned photo with a lot of work behind it. But you see it all the time : on your phone, TV and ads in general. And it does affect women, even if the beauty standards are irrealist, and humans come in all size and forms.

    This is the same principle in the two cases.

    • EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      13 days ago

      The difference is that those photos are presented as if the unrealistic thing is desirable. As if it is something that everyone should want to be. While you’re hearing “I wish men would stop being creepy” and acting like they’re directly calling you personally a creep.

      I’m an AMAB nonbinary person, basically every time a woman sees me I can see her instinctively preparing for me to be that exact guy because I look like if Bigfoot dressed as Bob from Bob’s Burgers. It sends my dysphoria through the roof every time. But even I can manage not to get bent out of shape when women call out men being toxic because I know I’m not guilty of the things they’re calling out.

      So I say again. Sounds like a skill issue

      • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        12 days ago

        Do you realize that the exemple you give is the same principle as you criticize?

        It sends my dysphoria through the roof every time.

        But even I can manage not to get bent out of shape […]

        You are sure about that? Dysphoria is a pretty big deal.

        Seems to me you still internalize the generalization made about people in your situation and it does affect you. Same as my examples.

        I can make the difference between women calling “all men” and myself as a person, and that wasn’t my point.

        If everywhere you look, there is someone or something telling you that you are a bad person because of something you can’t control, you can be as stoic as you want, it will affect you negatively. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

        And it seems to me that you don’t understand that my response was directly to your response to OP, not the #AllMen debate.

          • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            12 days ago

            I did not say that. You are clearly arguing in bad faith just to make your point.

            This conversation is going nowhere and I won’t spend more energy on it.