I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.
So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.
When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.
I’m not sure how to feel tbh
Wearing an earring in your right ear, but it’s ok to wear it in the left… Or the other way around. I could never remember which.
It’s a tie between licking ice cream and saying something is adorable.
- Wear orange or pink.
- Eat quiche
- Like poetry
- Hang out with girls at recess
- Wear an earring
- Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs
Cry.
According to my dad, considering something as ‘lovely’. Even if it’s the exhaust note of a motorcycle.
I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.
Sucking dick.
It’s funny to me all the times that I’ve been considered not manly enough, whether it’s wearing my hot pink vans or a pink shirt or tie, allowing my gf or now my daughters to paint my nails, and tons of other examples I’ve been called gay for too. It made me think, what really makes a man. And going by their own definition, isn’t it one sign of a man to not be swayed by the opinion of someone who seeks only to denigrate? So why would I care about their opinion?
I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.
eat a chicken sandwich. Apparently straight men have to eat burgers.
Use a bidet
Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
Not judging, but that is definitely gay.
Only if he gets a boner
Only if they kiss afterwards.
I need more friends like you.
I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.
I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍
Did you even say no homo first?
Washing your asshole… Seriously dudes, wash it anyway
Yeah this is still astonishing to me as a guy. Why is basic hygiene gay?
Seriously. If I was a girl, there’s no way I’d want to fuck someone with a filthy asshole, especially on my sheets. Skidmarks on the sheets and smelling like old shit is gross.
Wash your ass and groin with soap and water just like you do your armpits and feet.
My unasked for advice? Keep your butthole hair trimmed or shaved. Makes it much easier to keep clean, and it takes two seconds in the shower.
And up to the first knuckle, you don’t have to jam soap up there but wash your nasty ass if you expect anyone to not gag when they get near your crotch.
Some of yall are nasty.
Yes, why would you expect anyone to stuff something up there if you’re not going to at least keep it clean!?
