Only progress I made is switching to iOS from Android

“progress”

System76, Tuxedo, Juno come to mind. Even Dell has a Linux range I think.

You don’t need to troubleshoot Linux any more than Windows these days. Especially if you get your machine from a Linux-friendly supplier.

I would block the boulder’s path by jamming Trigger’s Broom in the tracks.

Those bananas in the bottom pic definitely look edible to me. They taste better slightly overripe too.

I am exponentially more experienced at swimming than the average person.

I’m actually a pretty average swimmer, so in this case the exponent is zero.