Then your _________ is a cancer and needs to fail.

I don’t think you understand what “snake oil” means.

I’d just like to know how the same fucking company that makes Illustrator and Photoshop can come up with something as astonishingly shitty as Acrobat.

The Matrix did. Imho.

Honestly it just doesn’t sound like a legit app to me. Sounds like some guy’s personal project.

Calling your cool new app “TARD,” for example — and then insisting (with a straight face) that it is simply an acronym and “people should get over it” — is just being stupid and missing the entire point…while failing miserably.

You start to think more and more…

No, this is what you are apparently doing. Knock it off.

This post is a rant consisting almost entirely of your own self-limiting beliefs. Got that? Beliefs. And they can change. You can change them.

Illustration by Escher.

Learning to distinguished between what actually happened and the narratives my mind has about what happened.

I was once stopped at a red light waiting to turn right. I glanced left, saw it clear, and started moving forward…but a tattered, sunburnt dude in a wheelchair had appeared out of nowhere and tried to cross in front of me.

I stopped in time, didn’t hit him, but must’ve scared him (or something), ‘cause he lost his fucking mind and started shrieking bloody murder, backed up a bit and started CLAWING at the passenger side window — not trying to open the door, just clawing, freaking my friend the fuck out — and screamed (exact quote), “I’LL KILL YOU, YOU MISERABLE BASTARD!!!”

You can also run a spoon under hot water for a more improv tool. Works great.

If it flies, look for a huge spike in stds

Love it. Thanks!

when nessa

Omg, thanks I hate it…is this a thing? I mean I might love it, not sure yet.

Ha! Didn’t even. Sad face.

Teamwork!

Some great advice here already! So I’m going to suggest something novel:

Consider “settling,” just a tiny bit. What I mean is, don’t be so quick to assess someone new as A Partner…potential or otherwise. Try letting gals in who are attractive enough and carry themselves well, seem sane, easy going, smart, etc. Shared values, that sort of thing. A female friend with potential, if you will. See where it goes; be open to being surprised, pleasantly or otherwise.

I’ve seen so many younger men “auditioning” mates with unrealistic expectations about “clicking” or “just knowing” — and winding up as older bachelors who have never even had a chance to practice being in a relationship.

Yes, like literally anything else worth doing/having, it takes practice!

Unless your tap water is unusually, ridiculously pure, please at least use filtered water. Snorting bacteria directly into your sinuses can end very badly.

Wil Ferrell + RHCP drummer = so much this.

Fucktard

The sniper is ready.