It was interesting because everyone thought she wasn’t hungry and kept giving solutions for that, but it wasn’t that she wasn’t hungry- she kept pawing at me and walking over to the kitchen/ her food bowl, but just wouldn’t eat what I gave her. She was very hungry, but I guess she was pickier than she was hungry.
“we thought we hit rock bottom, but then we heard a knock from below” -Russian Joke
I like to think I’m an introverts extravert. Most of my friends are introverts and they seem to like having me around, especially in busy social settings since I can act as a barrier to help manage the mayhem. I will gladly offer my services to the introvert who pulls the lever.
Fair, but I do like seeing the federated model thrive and prove itself as a viable alternative to main stream social media. My utopian dream would be that profit driven internet would fall apart against what we have. I hate how much power is given to so few.
Thanks so much for your kind words.
I’ve taught at a private school as a long term music sub, which while being the job that put me in the red (I kept asking when the normal teacher would come back, they never gave me a straight answer until I walked into my office one day to find her stuff there. After that they kept stringing me along in hopes that they’d start a full band program- I spent weeks putting together a proposal for it to be rejected for “various reasons”).
I’ve been thinking about the regular job, but I have no idea what I can do to get me out of the red. Anything that would pay $80k+ just seems out of reach since those tend to be senior positions or for people who can code. I’ve tried coding many times but just can’t seem to get it. Sales has burned me time after time and marketing just doesn’t stick. I can do it for myself alright, but it’s just not something that wants me around in the corporate setting.
Sadly so much of the music industry is for creating commercial music to be used for businesses. When music is a commodity to be bought and sold, humans aren’t really necessary. Why would I pay a human to create a catchy tune for my advertisement when Ai can pump out something that does just fine? AI is also breaking the music tech side. It’s not 100% yet, but Ai mixing and mastering is taking off. If I’m an artist, especially one on a tight budget, an Ai mixer could do just fine for my album when normally I might pay someone with the experience to do so. This might seem great for the artist, but once they have their album, they can get paid $20 a year from Spotify.
The tech spokespeople keep trying to convince us that Ai won’t steal our work and livelyhoods. The thing is everyone in my industry, me included, don’t buy it. These are the same people who said tech would bring Seattle jobs and prosperity, but all it did was raise rents and push out the artists. Tech bros will disagree and say Seattle is just fine, but they weren’t the ones negatively impacted by the industry that allowed them to move there. There’s a group of us in Chicago who call ourselves Seattle’s artistic refugees.
We aren’t the only ones- San Francisco, Boston, Austin, Denver- so many cities are losing their artistic communities that made them worth living in. There’s still music in these places, but you’ll notice those performances are taken by big names for people who can afford those $60+ tickets.
Hell, even Death Cab for Cutie wrote an absolutely heartbreaking bop.
Digging for gold in my neighborhood
For what they say is the greater good
But all I see is a long goodbye
A requiem for a skyline
💔💔💔
I’m not trying to be doom and gloom, but I can’t keep living like this.
I love you. Thank you for commenting and being.
It reminds me of this old man named Adolf, who when asked why he didn’t change his name after WW2, he said “I’m not going to let an asshole with a stupid mustache take away my name”
I feel like the reaper is really dragging his feet with this one.
Grim reaper looking at list in the morning whilst holding skull mug, wearing a death bathrobe, and sporting pink fuzzy slippers
“Okay let’s just take a- AWWWW MAN. Really? Jimmy Carter? Uuuuugh this is gonna suck so much.”
Procedes to pull out his iBone15 to call God
“Hey cough um god I think I got plague so I need to take take the next… 5 years off yea 5 years… No yea I tested positive. Yes I can send you a picture… No no don’t worry I’m way ahead of schedule- get it, ahead? Baha yea I’ll never forget Louis, what a laugh. Oh, no we don’t need to send in a sub… No really… No, ESPECIALLY not Reagan. Sure. Yep I’ll give a call to HR. Thanks. Bet.”
Hangs up, calls HR
“Hey Lucifer I need to call out…”
idk, I know that there are great companies to work for- my sister found a unicorn of a job. Great pay (and hourly), tons of vacation, work from home, a decent amount of travel but not too much (she’s in sales for a scientific instrument company), but I have job hopped enough to know that what she has is now becoming the exception. And of course to your point, this is all anecdotal. I’m now self employed and I’ve never been busier nor happier.
I cannot tell you how many bosses Ive had/ heard say they are going to have a moment of “radical kindness” and then proceed to just RIP into their employees until they cry.
Corporate double speak is wack.
Awwww, what a close friendship they had. Fully plutonic. Just two very straight friends. Good ol’ guy love, between two guys.
This but the exact opposite. I also have resting smile face. I’m so pissed off.
Basically, but the next step is to forgive and love that part as well. That part of you developed for a reason. If you can name what that part of you is, you might be able to look back to a time where that part of you was what was helping you. Now that you are living a different life, the game is to tell that part to step to the side and let another part of you take the wheel.
At least that’s what a gleaned from my conversation last night.
If it helps anyone in a similar situation, after a shroom trip two weeks ago, I realized my issue is a deeeeeep seated shame- my “Mr. Ethics” vibe is a facade and if you cross examined me long enough you would find out I’m rotten to the core.
I know this is false, but it’s so engrained it’s hard to shake.
In relationships, I’ll feel very anxious because I feel like “the jig is gonna be up soon, they’ll see you for who you are, you will hurt them” so I’ll usually drop and run.
4 hours later
Also I started this comment a few hours ago, but since have chatted with my friend over beers and he told me about “parts therapy”. Basically acknowledge there are many parts to you, there is no single you. There is the “superhero” you, the “deviant” you, the “artist”, the “lover”, etc. So in trying to identify this core I believe is rotten, I came up with “the sleezy politician”. I feel like I can manipulate people like hell- I can put on the charm to get what I want or to avoid risk. I can think of times when this version of me was necessary as a survival mechanism. Highschool was clique-city, and the theater department was a social minefield. My family had a heavy political side. Growing up I felt like I had a superpower to lie and get away with anything, it took me a while to realize it wasn’t a superpower but would hurt me so much more later. All that I learned through that is something I now need to undo, and that is to be comfortable with myself and not care about how others see me.
Ooof sorry I kinda word vomited but thanks for being my prep for tomorrow’s therapy sesh.
As it stands now, you could give me an amazing person to be with who would check all my boxes and would be a perfect match
And I would break up with them anyway in about 6 months.
I have a VERY avoidant attachment style that I need to shake before I can get into anything.
They sure do pal.
Wait people have multiple accounts?
It’s one of those quirks of the human brain where we can make faces from almost anything. In a more romantic view, we are always looking for connection, so we always look for faces. It might even be that we use this as a survival method. Just like when you take time to shelter yourself under a bush to hide. It was late October, the leaves on the ground created a great cushion to keep yourself safe. You had been running and hiding for the last 30 hours, but now you needed sleep. It was a risk that you calculated. You could try to keep going, but delusion is what took Sam. You make the most discreet of breathing holes, and you bunk in for then night. You try to sleep, but you only can think of the shrieking Sam made as he was torn apart by those wolves. You tried your best, at least you try to convince yourself that. Why couldn’t you save your friend while you yourself held that spear? You who only fended the beasts off after they had done away with Sam? Is it true that maybe you have become the monster that you were running from?
But your thoughts are interrupted.
You hear the clopping of hooves. He was able to track you this far. You thought you just had to worry about the elements, but you forgot about the element of surprise. You hold your breath, trying to not make a sound. Soon you hear his horse trot away. Safe, for now. But you knew this was way too close of a call. You had to keep creating distance, if you can find the shore, you can find your boat. If you find your boat you are home free.
You decide to make a break for it. You jump and hop through the brush, trying to keep your bearings, but then you feel a snag.
The trap was released.
You didn’t have time to react. You were immediately flung upwards, and now you find yourself upside down. Already so tired, you don’t think you can fight this one, but you keep trying to free yourself. Even then, you freeze when you hear the footsteps.
There he was.
The man you wished to never see again. The one you swore vengeance on. The one who now stares up at you with a maddening glee. He still is splattered with the blood of Sam, and now he looks at you and sees his next victim. “Not like this” you think “not because of him”. But it is. It always was. I always has been him. He is
But honestly I think it’s a great thing we keep looking for connection in the universe around us.
Okay but here me out, what if we 10^43 more monkeys to balance out the speed?
In fact, let’s push this to an extreme. We get enough monkeys that their mass turns them all into one black hole. Inside the black hole, the laws of physics get all fucked. Next we need to somehow dissolve the event horizon as explained in This Kurzgesagt video. Once that happens and we are left with a bare singularity, anything can pop out of it, including a copy of Hamlet.
The monkeys, however, will very likely be dead.