lucky, you have code gnomes. leave out an offering of mountain dew and pizza rolls to appease the spirits.

after much deliberation, the mason city community school district board of education came to the unanimous decision to ban selections from the public library based on the recommendations of a popular chat bot that has recently gained notoriety for simply making shit up. the board felt the unorthodox mode of handling the important choice of children’s education and enrichment was justified as none of the members had actually read a book. the assistant superintendent of curriculum and instruction, who’s job is literally to make such decisions, responded with further explanation, “i have more important things to do.”

pronounced: spanc