Well I’ll be hornswoggled in duck sauce! Asked and delivered!

Which fictional billionaire has more money, Forest Gump, or Bruce Wayne? This is the head to head i want to see.

I used to work in a pizza place, and the head cook was from Mexico working on his citizenship. He helped me with my Spanish, and I’d help him with his English. One day, we discovered that jokes was a good way to discover any loss in translations, so jokes became our preferred method of conversation.

One day he said he’s got a great joke, but he’s not sure if it’ll work in English, so he’s asks to tell me if it works. I tell him to hit me. The joke:

A guy and his girlfriend have been together long enough to move in with each other. Being a new(ish) couple, they’re still pretty frisky. Every time they’re finished and basking in the after glow, she plays with his junk, just gently kneading the balls in their sack. After a few months, he asks her why does she always play with his balls afterwards. She looks him dead in the eye with a Mona Lisa smile, gently kisses his lips and whispers in his ear “because i miss mine.”

He asked if the joke works in English. When i quit laughing, i said it does. That was 2006, and it’s still one of my favorite jokes to this day.

“Gimme da cash!”

Yes.

Translation: “we didn’t think this predatory behavior would affect our bottom line, and we deeply regret that it has.”

YOU’RE just a bunch of shapes and colors!

I’m down. This was always more my style. Less pageantry.