i will talk to my doctor about this of course but just wanted to collect my thoughts and seek out some other experiences before my next appointment. Sorry for such a long post, I guess the TLDR is I’m not sure if I lack the ability to focus enough to have ADHD.

Since I got the results i have been reading and listening to a lot of stuff about adhd. One thing I am pretty sure of is, if I do have ADHD it is the “inattentive” type, not the “hyperactive” type. Even so I am still quite conflicted about whether or not I actually have it at all. I’ll read one article and think “that’s TOTALLY me, I definitely have ADHD”. For example, I have really struggled with these things since middle school at least (i am 40 so trying to think back before high school is a bit fuzzy):

  • Severe motivation deficit/procrastination, particularly for tedious tasks and long-term projects
  • poor long term planning/project management (even gives me some anxiety just thinking about)
  • poor long term time perception (like I’ll intend to think about and purchase Christmas gifts, but then it’s too late)
  • Not great attention to detail, and I feel like I can sometimes jump to conclusions
  • Some trouble finishing “last 5%”
  • poor sleep hygiene. i actually fall asleep and stay asleep fine but it’s hard for me to put myself to bed at a good time and wake up in the morning. mornings have been hell my entire life.

But then I go read something else and think “hm that does not sound like me at all”. For example I am reading the book How to ADHD, and in it she says:

According to Hallowell, if you, an attention-challenged person, abandon all the distractions of modernity, go live on a farm, and finally find peace, you don’t have ADHD. If, instead, you show up to the farm and get so bored you decide to build a carnival—congratulations, you are one of us.

Like… I would absolutely not have the energy or motivation to build anything like a carnival. I would of course occupy myself with other things, I guess reading or playing guitar or listening to music, but isn’t that basically normal? I’m just not sure how to interpret this. Is this more applicable to “hyperactive” people, maybe not so much for “inattentive” people?

I’m just not sure what to make of all this yet. My whole life i have felt extremely lazy and low energy, but once i get over that initial (major) motivation problem i feel like i can focus fine and get stuff done. Is that what “hyper focus” is? Or does that more likely mean I don’t actually have ADHD?

Thanks for reading and any feedback is welcome.

  • Schlemmy@lemmy.mlEnglish
    5·
    3 days ago

    I’ve got diagnosed at age 26, now 16 years ago. This was after a whole set of tests, spread over days with observation included. You need a professional because there is so much involved.

    Everybody’s different so even though articles and YouTube videos on the subject may seem recognisable, sometimes they also describe stuff that I don’t experience.

    There is no hyperactivity on the surface but that doesn’t mean there is no hyperactivity at all. I for an instance became very well at hiding and suppressing the ‘H’ in ADHD. So much that even to me it seems like there’s nothing there.

    So, get tested by a professional. When’ you get diagnosed, see how that can work for you. I for an instance had poor results in high school but graduated magna cum laude in law school four years ago.

    Being diagnosed made me look for alternative ways of organising my life and made me more successful. At least it made me understand myself.

    • acosmichippo@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      3·
      3 days ago

      yeah I have been seeing a psychiatrist for a few months, that’s who set me up with the creyos assessment. I just haven’t spoken to them about it in an actual session yet.