The house next door to me is going up for sale soon and I’d like to delay that process as much as possible. What would be the most annoying music I could play when prospective buyers are next door?
Alright. Y’all ever hear about the shaggs?
A dad was told by a fortune teller that his yet-unborn kids were destined for musical stardom. After that, the dad had no choice but to force his eventual kids into a band.
These kids had no musical training. No sense of rhythm, no sense of pitch.
Their released music is the auditory equivalent of a child’s crayon drawing hung on the fridge. It’s astoundingly disjointed. It’s all wrong. Frank Zappa said they’re better than the Beatles. SOMEONE out there likes screamo. Some folks out there like bagpipes. Then what happens? Your neighbor loves blasting screamo. You’ve played yourself. Unless Frank Zappa is moving in, you’d be hard pressed to find a potential buyer that like the shaggs.
Reggae can be fun, especially to dance to, but when heard through a wall, you mostly hear the bass and all reggae has the same bass track. It’s almost comical, like that beat is a requirement of the genre. After hours of reggae you’ll wanna smash that stereo.
This is not a judgement of the musical genre and I think it’s way more profound and expressive than the average commodified pop music we have. However, I remember making a report about the history of music (for an arts appreciation class in college) and I ended the report with some Japanoise (a genre of noise music) like this one:
The teacher was really delighted, but my classmates were like “WTF?”
EDIT: Reworded some confusing sentence construction
Clown Core is for those with discerning tastes.
There’s always the risk that people who visit the house next door are into whatever annoying music you’re playing and end up moving there and blasting it for the rest of your life
What’s that dolphin-sounding song someone played during sex in that meme? That.
Alternatively, the brown note (assuming it’s real).
Or like hardcore noise stuff. Is “Wall of sound” a type of it?
Edit: How could I forget Ram Ranch?
Yes! Cbat hahaha. Thanks.
Modern pop country
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears by a type of parasitic earworm whispered fearfully only in dark circles as “schlagermusik”.
Once exposed to it, it eats into their brain and gets behind their eyeballs, forcing them to wear manic grins, and tap tables to the weak, incoherent, barely thought out beats drumming mercilessly into what’s left of their soul.
Years after leaving the German part of Switzerland I still get A!-tem!-los! in my head out of nowhere sometimes :(
Oo-la-pa-loo
Oktoberfest?
Let him who hath understanding
Reckon the Month of the Beast
For it is a Human Month…
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears
That’s pretty accurate, actually. Same goes for “Apres Ski”, which is the same but more annoying and sexist.
I was going to say polka music but this is close enough
Regeaton and Trap 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I would feel mostly meh about reggaeton if it wasn’t the one and only thing everyone ever hears in a 300km radius of where I live. It’s frankly sad that Latin America, having so much creativity and diversity in culture, ended up with such talentless noise as the absolutely dominant genre.
It’s literally inescapable and an entire generation already only listens to reggaeton. It’s lazy and unpleasant, combined with a completely commercial mindset.
I’m a huge fan of southamerican rock, and sadly is true that it has been drawn by that misogynistic shit.
But bands like Los 3 are still live and so many people still hear them, there is hope.
Apparently you never listened to Young Dolph
Who?
Christian Rock
There’s a McDonald’s down the block from me that plays nothing but Christian music all the damn time. I honestly feel bad for the employees.
Oml can’t stand that shet polluting the airwaves
It is, and always will be, children’s music, like Baby Shark.
If you really want the sale to not happen, put any brazilian funk on max volume. “Proibidão” for the worst of the worst
You need to look up Komar & Melamid. They did market research art, and they commissioned “The Least Favorite Song” after a survey that showed the least favorite features of songs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_People’s_Choice_Music#The_Most_Unwanted_Song
I vote for Japanische Kampfhörspiele!
That has a little too much rhythm for me. I’d recommend some Fushitsusha
