I feel like I give help easily but I don’t feel ok asking. How do you become ok with asking for help? I have no idea what conversations that include this even sound like. In my mind I come across as begging and losing connection with the person or people I ask. How can I think about this differently?

Edit: a little more context, although this applies generally I think. I recently got surgery. I have enough help at home to get by, but it would be nice I suppose if a friend wanted to help out in some way too while I recover. I’m not exactly sure what kind of help that would entail, maybe cleaning or cooking or even just visiting. But I struggle with asking for help in even “normal” circumstances, like moving, or a major project, or even just emotional support.

  • drcouzelis@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Be specific about asking. If you don’t have a question mark somewhere in what you’re saying then you’re not asking a question. If you don’t have a question mark somewhere then there’s no expectation of a response. Does that make sense? ;)

    Spend a moment thinking about what you actually want an answer to. Don’t waste people’s time with an “XY problem”.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_problem

    Lastly, I keep in mind the idea of reversing the situation. How would I feel if someone were to come to me with this question? Would I feel bothered? Would I be annoyed? Most likely no, I LOVE helping with stuff, especially if it’s in a field of my interests. And if I’m being asked about it there’s a good chance it is. :D

    • Ricaz@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Working in IT/development, this article encapsulates all my every day frustrations