• AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    180
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    11 months ago

    If you believe that women are closer to being property than to being full and equal partners in a relationship, you don’t want them being able to exit a marriage without a fight.

    Some of these idiots actually say that a woman shouldn’t be able to divorce without the husband’s permission. Crazy and gross.

    • bassomitron@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      95
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      11 months ago

      The irony being that spouse murder rates notably dropped after the majority of the US legalized no-fault divorces. If a woman can’t escape a toxic marriage legally, she’s more likely to just murder you instead (and before anyone jumps in to patronize, I realize how terrible it used to be for many women and we should fight against any toxic, regressive policies like this).

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        89
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        11 months ago

        My understanding is murder dropped on both sides, but it was a bigger drop in the deaths of the wives. Women are more able to get away from abusive husbands with a no fault divorce - they don’t have to go to court and prove the abuse. Abusive relationships often escalate over time, and can end in death if the abused doesn’t get out.

        • bassomitron@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          28
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          11 months ago

          I believe you’re right, it’s been awhile since I read an article that discussed the topic. Bottom line: Advocates of rescinding no fault divorces can shut the hell up and keep their draconian ideas to themselves.

          • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            14
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            11 months ago

            Yeah, I wish they would, but they don’t. It’s the same people who want to abolish abortions and prevent kids from knowing about homosexuality. None of it is based on any actual data or problems, it’s all based on their particular cherry-picked interpretation of the bible.

          • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            11 months ago

            And if they succeed they will have blood in their hands. Not that that ever bothered them before.

      • flicker@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        27
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        11 months ago

        I have an amazing anecdote about a friend who was working hospice who had an ancient lady tell her about how she (the old lady) killed her first husband for being an abusive dick.

        She laughed the whole time.

        It was later proven true.

      • BigMacHole@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        11 months ago

        That’s NOT what being Pro Life means SOCIALIST! Who cares about PEOPLE when there’s FETUSES to worry about?

  • Rottcodd@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    117
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    11 months ago

    It’s so perfectly appropriate that that abusive piece of shit Steven Crowder opposes no-fault divorce. He’s just such a vivid example of the sort of emotionally stunted manchild who opposes it and of why they oppose it, and thus of why it has to continue to exist.

    • CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      28
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      Let’s be real here. It’s not that conservatives, conservative men specifically, want to get rid of no-fault divorce. In Crowder’s case, his wife has pretty compelling evidence that Steven emotionally abused his wife.

      Conservatives would use no fault divorce to separate from “mouthy” women in a heartbeat if the threat of it would keep them in line.

      They hate that a law exists that can be used against them.

      They believe they should not be bound by the law of a no fault divorce but would have zero problem using it if it served their interests.

      “Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect."

    • MTLion3@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      11 months ago

      Well that was hard to watch. Already didn’t like this dickhead but now I reeeally don’t like ‘im

    • someguy3@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      edit-2
      11 months ago

      If this was the “wifely duties” one, the dog needed some meds which a pregnant woman can’t touch. Affects the fetus. He wanted her to put on gloves so she could do it. What a POS. If that stuff could affect my kid I wouldn’t want it anywhere near my wife.

      • HessiaNerd@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        11 months ago

        That is the gloves thing? I wondered.

        Yeah, what a lazy selfish POS. Their first kid I’m guessing? He probably is the type to ‘not do diapers’ too.

  • elbucho@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    105
    arrow-down
    13
    ·
    11 months ago

    why do conservatives want x?

    Because they’re cunts. That is the answer. It doesn’t matter what the question is, the answer is that conservatives are cunts. It explains the entirety of their behavior.

    • Azzu@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      11 months ago

      Well, but that doesn’t explain anything. Of course you can always go deeper with “why” questions and at some point you have to be satisfied, but asking “why are they being cunts?” is not going too far. Being a cunt usually has no benefit and is not desirable, so using it as an explanation for human behavior is not sufficient.

      The answer should include the supposed reason why conservatives think being a cunt would be advantageous to them, i.e. why they’re choosing this over other beneficial behavior.

      • elbucho@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        arrow-down
        5
        ·
        11 months ago

        but asking “why are they being cunts?” is not going too far.

        I don’t agree with you on this. The phrase “being a cunt” implies that you have some choice in the matter; you normally are not a cunt, but you choose to be one for some reason. I don’t think that applies for conservatives. They aren’t choosing to be cunts any more than a dog chooses to be a dog. They are cunts. Therefore, they gravitate towards conservatism. Conservatism is the ideology of cunts.

        • Azzu@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          12
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          11 months ago

          There have been previous conservatives that stopped being cunts, disproving your claim by simple counterexample. It’s definitely a choice (as much as anything that we do is “chosen”), it’s not some inherent property of their being.

          • elbucho@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            7
            arrow-down
            4
            ·
            11 months ago

            I suppose I was being a bit obtuse there. To be clear, I don’t believe that conservatives are wholly incapable of change. Just, you know, mostly incapable of it. Some people will surprise you here and there, for sure. In the main, though, they are small-minded, angry, mean-spirited people prone to homophobia, sexism, racism, xenophobia, and classism. Basically, every possible shit thing that a person can be is represented in their outlook on life. It’s the kind of outlook that requires you to be a shithead to hold it. Hence, conservatives are cunts.

            • Azzu@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              7
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              edit-2
              11 months ago

              No one is saying conservatives aren’t cunts. All I’m saying is that it’s not sufficient explanation for their behavior, people don’t just wake up and say “golly, today I really want to be a complete cunt”. No, for them, they’re the heroes of their stories, the only ones “doing good”, yet for everyone else they only come across as cunts. All I’m saying is that an explanation has to include their internal reasoning for why they think they’re the hero of their story.

          • dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            5
            ·
            11 months ago

            Who are these conservatives that stopped being cunts? You can’t be a conservative and not a cunt. It’s baked into the ideology.

            • John Richard@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              11 months ago

              I’d beg to differ and say a lot more of them are assholes. Many of them are pretty self-aware, they just don’t care. You know that song Sweet Dreams?

              Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused

              A lot of conservatives just see struggling people as an opportunity. They think, in order to maintain wealth I need to make life harder on other people. They see black people getting locked up for marijuana possession and think, oh… that person will be on probation and be desperate for a job that I can pay minimum wage and treat them like garbage. They see forcing women to have babies that they can’t afford as people in poverty that they can take advantage of. If you think they do what they do cause they are merely stupid, then your more than likely going to end up a victim in their game.

      • Techmaster@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        11 months ago

        Being a conservative doesn’t make them a cunt, being a cunt makes them conservative.

        • Azzu@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          11 months ago

          You’re trolling, right? Have you really never met or heard of a cunt that leans politically progressive? I assure you, they exist.

      • dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        arrow-down
        8
        ·
        11 months ago

        I’m satisfied with the answer “because conservatives are cunts”. If you’re looking for a deeper answer, you won’t find it. Just accept it and treat these people accordingly.

        • Azzu@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          12
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          11 months ago

          But there is a deeper answer, there always is.

          In this case, we have much worse socialization today. There’s no sense of community anymore, no natural places to go to meet people, families are smaller, it’s much easier to pick up and move somewhere else ending up in an unfamiliar environment with no friends, and so on and so on.

          If you have bad socialisation, you end up with bad social skills, so you end up being rejected everywhere you go, so you end up wanting to control people so they have to stay with you, so you don’t end up alone.

          Thus the fantasy of getting a woman to agree to marriage and not being able to leave is appealing and secures these people voters.

            • Azzu@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              4
              ·
              11 months ago

              It’s too easy to think no farther than “lol they just suck, doesn’t matter why”. The topic is over, you can feel better (superior) and don’t have to deal with anything difficult.

          • wildginger@lemmy.myserv.one
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            11 months ago

            Conservatives being cunts is not a modern phenomena. You are assuming modern changes caused an ancient consistency.

            Like saying that recent video game trends are the origins of skin cancer.

          • UsernameIsTooLon@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            4
            ·
            11 months ago

            There is a deeper point yea, but sometimes the deeper points just come back full circle to “they’re cunts”.

            Sometimes there isn’t though. Sometimes cunts are just born naturally and that’s just the way people are.

            We can get into family systems and their environments, stages of development, and apply any and every psych theory we can; blame it on the lead, the microplastics etc. and they’re still cunts at the end of the day.

  • Sanctus@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    89
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    11 months ago

    Its too easy? Fuck you. I want to be able to text a number and boom my divorce is filed. Republicans once again proving their the party of piss babies and iron fists. Maybe if you all weren’t so completely revolting in your souls you’d find someone that wishes to intertwin with it.

    • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      11 months ago

      Technically if you don’t have any disputed assets or kids to traumatize, you can pretty much get divorced online these days. There a bunch of online legal services websites out there who will send you boilerplate to fill out and then file it for you for under $1000.

      • buddhabound@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        19
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        11 months ago

        Yes. That’s how no-fault divorce works. The point is, they don’t want that at all, for anyone, regardless of assets or children. They want wives to be the property of men, unable to get a divorce.

      • homura1650@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        11 months ago

        Those services are scams. At least in my state, the court’s website includes a boilerplate form to fill out free of charge.

        Having said that, even if there is no dispute, if you have sizable co-mingled assets/liabilities (such as a house and mortgage, effectively comingled retirement savings, etc), you should probably still get professional help even if you agree in principle how to divide them.

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        11 months ago

        My first divorce was far easier than that. We decided to divorce, no kids or property or fighting, and did it for $0.

  • osarusan@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    52
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    11 months ago

    I feel like most things conservatives want can easily be explained by their consistent desire to harm women.

    • Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      11 months ago

      Conservatives delight in the misery of the vulnerable. You can see it in the things they find funny, the sadistic movies they enjoy and their genuine happiness in killing animals.

  • Chaos@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    ·
    11 months ago

    Because they are terrible people that need to hold someone hostage in order not to be single? Probably something along those lines…

    • jonne@infosec.pub
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      They also don’t want to make the economic conditions happen that allowed for the ‘traditional family’, where there’s one bread winner. It’s just not possible in this day and age for the average worker to support a wife and kids.

  • the_q@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    39
    arrow-down
    5
    ·
    11 months ago

    I wonder if the brains of conservatives are structurally different from everyone else’s. Like I get that boomers have their lead poisoning, but younger cons are just as terrible and just as stupid while growing up with better education and endless info against their values.

    • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      They have higher fear and disgust reactions. That’s why they sound fearful and disgusted at nonthreatening things.

    • Azzu@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      11 months ago

      There might be “better education”, but you also have to remember that we have much worse socialization today. There’s no sense of community anymore, no natural places to go to meet people, families are smaller, it’s much easier to pick up and move somewhere else ending up in an unfamiliar environment with no friends, and so on and so on.

      If you have bad socialisation, you end up with bad social skills, so you end up being rejected everywhere you go, so you end up wanting to control people so they have to stay with you, so you don’t end up alone.

      • ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        11 months ago

        There’s a million people who grew up in the same environments who didn’t to turn out to be misogynistic racist bigots though.

        • Azzu@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          11 months ago

          Being the first and second child within one family is oftentimes a greater “environmental” difference than being the first child in one family vs the first child in another family. Or getting into one school class with lots of assholes who become friends, versus getting into another class with lots of very nice people who become friends.

          What I want to say with this is, even within a unit that we usually call “same environment”, the environmental differences can be massive.

    • dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      11 months ago

      Yes. Lack of emotional intelligence, lack of cognitive intelligence (unless they’re grifting), and a willingness to engage in sociopathic behavior. You should absolutely be able to see structural differences in people that willfully engage in conservatism.

      • Hamartia@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        11 months ago

        I would suppose the brain, like a muscle, can be trained to be stronger (more computing power) and simultaneously can wither if neglected. Rather than the brain structure being an innate political preference indicator from birth it is (attempted to be) nurtured into a culturally efficient information processing organ. Which is why the battle lines in children’s education around set conservative orthodoxies (such as religions) vs critical thinking, or obedience/conformity vs self actualisation, or hierarchical society vs egalitarianism are so heated. It is a battle for the soul of the country. Which, of course is continued throughout the rest of your life too overtly through partisan messaging and covertly through message format/style.

    • paddirn@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      I think part of it may be that, but there’s definitely big money behind pushing and disseminating these beliefs. You’ve got foreign government-funded groups whose whole purpose is to push these talking points out to large swaths of the US population, to create conflict, on both the Left and the Right. Our own corporate elite has been doing this to the US population for years via our tv and news media, but now with the internet and social media, world governments are getting in on the act and everyone is trying to push us one way or the other.

  • MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    34
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    11 months ago

    Maybe just maybe the sanctity of the American family is as an abuse cycle in its most potent form.

    And there is no fixing that.

    And the besainted Kurt Vonnegut said, “A husband, a wife and some kids is not a family. It’s a terribly vulnerable survival unit."

  • Nougat@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    11 months ago

    Without no-fault divorce, one party has to admit to some kind of “harm” to the other, like “emotional neglect” or some such thing. It was pretty common, when both people wanted to divorce, for them to agree to essentially lie to the court to meet that requirement. And then, there would often be a required separation period of a year or more before the divorce could be finalized.

    That’s all in a relatively civil “at fault” divorce. If either party wants to be an ass about it, then it gets way uglier.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      When my great-grandparents got a divorce, they had to get my great-grandfather’s sister-in-law to lie in a bed with him under the covers and take a photo of it to prove infidelity. What a ridiculous system.

  • ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    11 months ago

    As usual conservatives don’t think of the consequences of their actions. Marriage rates are already declining. Eliminating no-fault divorce won’t make people stay together. It will make them decide getting married isn’t worth it in the first place.

    • paddirn@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      11 months ago

      Hopefully this helps the “institution” of marriage just die off even sooner, at least as a government-recognized status. It should just be civil unions across the board is what’s officially recognized, let marriages just be a Church ceremony and take government out of it altogether.

      • Doc Avid Mornington@midwest.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        11 months ago

        Marriage predates any modern religion, and likely predates organized religion entirely. Marriage is a civil institution. Marriage belongs to all of us, not just churches, not just the religious. Don’t let them take it.

  • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    11 months ago

    I legitimately don’t understand why you would want to hold someone hostage if they don’t want to be with you. Ignore the whole human rights issue… Unless you are an actual sadistic sociopath why would you want to subject yourself to another person’s misery like that, instead of going out and seeking mutual happiness?

    • meco03211@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      Unless you are an actual sadistic sociopath

      You answered your own question. To conservatives, a spouse is merely another piece along your way to the “traditional family”. And that is explicitly your (the royal you) way. How dare that piece have the audacity to remove itself from your carefully laid plans. Doesn’t it know you have a wholesome image to maintain? Though it’s nothing a little “discipline” won’t fix.

    • cogman@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      11 months ago

      For some, women and children are things, not people.

      My terrible grandfather was like that. Abusive to everyone in the household, stole my grandmother’s income, and when winter rolled around he’d disappear until spring to who knows where leaving my grandmother and kids to fend for themselves. He literally tried to kill one of my uncles just because he could (tried to run him over with a tractor).

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        11 months ago

        Not just that, but marriage to them is a prize they won, not something they did as a partner. And once they won their prize, they can do anything they want with it.

    • chakan2@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      11 months ago

      It’s not about holding someone hostage. A lot of breadwinners would let their spouse walk if they didn’t take half of the breadwinner’s savings with them.

      The rest of it is all fluff…the core of this issue is money.

      • TechAnon@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        11 months ago

        The core of the issue also can include child custody, but I agree with you in that money is also a huge core issue.

    • Kepabar@startrek.website
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      Some of it stems from religious zealotry (marriage is sacred and permanent).

      Some of it is a misguided attempt at rectify the ‘single parent’ problem, believing that two unhappy parents is better than one parent divorced.

      Essentially if you make divorce harder, more couples will be forced to work through their disagreements and reconcile.

  • someguy3@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    11 months ago

    Imagine wanting to get out of a bad situation and needing to prove to a court that it’s bad enough.

    Court: “Not bad enough, you can’t leave.”