• bleph@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    1 year ago

    Homie I’m sorry that happened.

    You might want to do some research on:

    • verbal abuse
    • narcissistic parent
    • low self esteem

    This is what I wish someone else told me.

    Good luck on your journey

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 year ago

      Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn’t been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She’s not perfect and sometimes I think she’s wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me

      • Contramuffin@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It just means that their interactions aren’t healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.

        Regardless, I hope that you’re doing well. I don’t know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it’s much more impressive than anything I’ve made

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 year ago

          That’s true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can’t expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.

          • Sivaru@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            1 year ago

            Yes, in this world there is no one who wants what is good for you more than your parents. Many people forget that, if your parents have problems, you need to take care of them.

            • bleph@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              I don’t agree with this in all cases.

              True, parents usually have a deeply ingrained emotional need to protect and nurture their children but:

              • Not all parents do. Narcissists have children all the time. When they do, they cloak their emotional vampirism in ‘love’ like they do in all relationships.
              • Even parents with the best intentions have to work HARD not to pass on their generational traumas, abuses, and bad habits.
              • Only the child can truly know what will fulfill them as a person. Parents often substitute what they wanted for their younger selves for the child’s best interest.

              For those still thinking I have no idea what I am talking about and you and your parents are different… please look into “enmeshment” for your own sake

      • redsol2@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 year ago

        I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          I’ll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it’s hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn’t act in a supportive way

          • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            You should at least recognize that you’re holding a double standard here: she’s able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it’s hard for you to criticize her because you care.

            That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.

  • Korne127@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I’m genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn’t, I’m proud of that and happy for you :)
    But yeah, I’m sorry that she hasn’t appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yeah I guess. I’ve only been able to get internships- good internships. But I’ve never been able to get a real job

      • Aidan@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Well you managed to get the username aidan@lemmy.world before me, so that’s something

  • winterayars@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    Bill Gates was Bill Gates because he had rich parents who got him access to millions of dollars of computer hardware at a time when that was much harder than today. If you’re not Bill Gates it’s on your parents, imo.

    That said, 100 stars is great. Keep it up! That’s 100 people who looked at the stuff you’re doing, evaluated it using their expertise, and decided it was good enough work to call attention to.

    • spauldo@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      That part of it, sure, but the guy was good at business and made some smart bets (that the microcomputer industry would explode, for one). Microsoft didn’t get as big as it has based only on their technical ability. They got there because they made the right decisions and were cutthroat against their competitors.

      Bill was at the right time and right place, but he was also the right guy. You gotta have them all.

      • eskimofry@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        It’s easy to make some smart bets when you can make many bets and fail over and over and not become destitute.

      • Hexadecimalkink@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Cutthroat is an understatement. He did a lot of illegal stuff in the USA and internationally because governments had no idea how he was exploiting them/breaking commercial law. He also bribed hundreds of governments and stifled innovation. The world would be a better place without him.

        • spauldo@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 year ago

          Sure, but that’s how business works when you’re as big a company as Microsoft. And he was good at it.

          I never said he was a nice guy, only that he was good at business.

          • Hexadecimalkink@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            0
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            1 year ago

            So I agree that’s how it works with businesses under Anglo-Saxon style capitalism, but I disagree with that’s how it works across the world with large companies. There are large multinational corporations that are ethical. Not as successful in profitability as Microsoft, but they are more successful ethically and better for society.

            • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              0
              ·
              1 year ago

              I’d argue that American and some Western European companies are much more ethical than African child labor mines, Chaebol, and Zaibatsu

            • spauldo@lemmy.ml
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              0
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Quite possibly. I wouldn’t know. Either way, Microsoft is an American company and plays by (or subverts, or writes) American rules.

              Money is power. Get enough of either and you get corruption. Some people fight the system, some people learn to profit off it. If it doesn’t work that way in other parts of the world, then it’s because their systems work differently than ours.

              Edit: quite possibly, not quit possibly. I’m a touch typist. I type every day. So why does my typing get worse with age?

              • Hexadecimalkink@lemmy.ml
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                0
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                1 year ago

                Yes, what you’re describing is called the “Social Structure of Accumulation” in Political Economic theory.

  • GnuLinuxDude@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’ve got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I’m proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn’t earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!